Holocron Haze
by BearTamer
Summary: Kanan isn't the first on the ship to discover Ezra's holocron


Zeb growled softly in annoyance as his open eyes greeted complete darkness. Darkness meant that everyone else was asleep, which meant it was too damn early for him to be awake. He thoroughly cursed the stakeout mission that he, Ezra, and Sabine had just come back from.

It always took him a couple of days to adjust back to a regular sleep schedule after such missions, which was why he never volunteered for them, but with so many missions and other members of the rebel alliance spread so thin, you didn't have much choice in which missions you were assigned as of late.

Zeb raked a clawed hand of annoyance across his face which he immediately regretted as the action caused him to be even more awake than before. Now fully awake, he glanced at the chronometer by his bedside which read a mocking 03:17 AM, his anger and annoyance were beginning to reach a boiling point, until he turned the other way and saw a long arm dangling limply from the top bunk.

His frown curled upwards into a wicked grin, his annoyance turned to giddiness. After all there was no reason for him to be the only one awake, right? Raising hit foot, he rammed it upward jostling the top bunk, while laughing lightly.

Odd though, his roommate didn't seem to be annoyed. Zeb's grin turned almost feral in delight, so the kid wasn't going to make it easy eh? Well Zeb could be persistent, when he wanted, so he kicked the bunk again a bit harder this time, still there was no response from the young teen.

His roommate Ezra, either knew what Zeb was trying to do and ignore him or….

"Hey, Ezra, you dead up there or something?" Zeb asked. He was joking of course; mostly. When there was no response, Zeb rolled his eyes and got of his bunk. Honestly, the things he goes through for a good prank.

Now standing looking over at Ezra, he grasped the boy's left shoulder and shook vigorously, "wake up Ezra, Sabine has decided to confess her true feelings for you." Zeb had to cover his mouth from all out laughter. The picture in his head of the kid falling out of the bunk sputtering at no Mandalorian his love, but the lasat himself made Zeb even giddier.

However, the picture in Zeb's head did not come to fruition. Instead the teen barely moved at Zeb's shaking, his head lolling in the pillow. Now Zeb was starting to panic, "Ezra, are you okay? Wake up!"

Nothing. The lasat flipped the switch on flooding the room with ambient light. He turned and sighed lightly in relief at the rise and fall of Ezra's chest. Good, the kid was breathing at least. Zeb frowned crossing his arms in thought, the kid had always been a light sleeper so any unusual noises should have woken him up, and thinking about it there was no muscle tension when Zeb shook him.

Zeb sighed looking at the door and back at the teen. Unfortunately, Zeb didn't know enough about human anatomy to know for certain if something was wrong with Ezra, and with Hera and Kanan away on a mission, that just left their temperamental Mandalorian; one Sabine Wren.

"Alright kid, give me a sign that you're okay, or I'm going to wake Sabine up to look at you, and if there ain't nothing wrong well, she'll have both our heads." Zeb glanced back and seeing no movement from the teen sighed. Grabbing his bo-rifle he headed toward the door. Knowing Sabine, he would need his weapon.

Sabine chuckled lightly at the absurdity of it all. She knew Zeb was standing outside her door. In fact she had heard it when he first kicked Ezra's bunk. Zeb had obviously forgotten that the Ghost's walls were thin and that her room was right across from theirs.

She waited a few more moments before sighing. "You know," she called out. "It helps to knock on the door."

There was a pause. "Promise you won't disembowel me if it turns out to be nothing."

Sabine cackled before sliding off her bunk answering the door, the lasat's large frame looking unusually meek. "Now why would I disembowel you? You're way to close to my door, do you have any idea how long that would take me to clean up?"

"Ha, ha," Zeb laughed sarcastically. "Seriously tough Sabine, can you take a look at Ezra, I think there's something wrong with him."

The Mandalorian's eyebrows knitted together in slight concern. "What's wrong with him? Is he bleeding out?"

"No."

"Is he feverish? Bruised? Have broken bones?"

"I don't think so…"

Does he have brain damage?"

"Now that's debatable," Zeb replied easily with a light smirk.

Sabine flashed a quick smile back at the lasat before frowning again. "Seriously Zeb, what's going on with Ezra?"

The lasat began to rub the back of his head rather sheepishly. "Well uh, ya see, the kid, he uh, won't wake up."

At this revelation one of the Mandolorian's eyebrows flew up. He could not be serious. "Zeb you do know that it's like 03:40 in the morning and that no normal sentient being would be awake at this hour right?"

"Yeah, well, we both know that Ezra isn't exactly normal," Zeb retorted.

Sabine crossed her arms, she was feeling frustrated and was contemplating the many ways she could get back at the lasat for waking her. However, when she looked back up at him she could see the slight anxiety in his eyes. Sabine took a deep breath quelling her anger. Maybe there was something wrong with Ezra. "Let me grab my helmet. It has a medical scanner in it, which will help me read his basic life signs."

Zeb sighed in relief. "Thanks Sabine."

She waved her hand dismissively. "Don't thank me yet, if there isn't anything wrong with Ezra, you'd better watch your back for a while."

Zeb stood at the doorway with his bo-rifle held a little closer, contemplating when he started caring about Ezra's wellbeing more than his own.

Sabiine and Zeb entered the room where Ezra was in the exact same position that the lasat left him in. Lowering the scanner on her helmet Sabine watched the young Jedi breathe in and out. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with him, but she knew from experience that looks could be deceiving.

After a moment of waiting, the scanner beeped. "Well the only thing that seems to be abnormal is that his heartrate is really low. Even for someone who is sleeping. However, it isn't low enough that it should keep him from waking up."

"Well I've tried everything to wake him up. Kicking him, shaking him, yelling at him…"

"Oh, I doubt you've tried everything." Sabine grinned procuring a small round device from her belt.

Zeb's eyebrows flew up in worry. "Sabine! You cannot set off a bomb in here!"

"Relax," Sabine dismissed. "It's just a flash bomb."

"That doesn't make it any better." The lasat panicked.

"You may want to cover your eyes." The Mandalorian grinned. Two seconds later a blinding flash of white followed by a loud bang went off in the room.

"Damn it Sabine, I think you blinded me." Zeb cried out while covering his eyes with his massive hands.

"You're not blind, you just may be seeing spots for a little while." Sabine laughed. "Besides, I used one of my low- grade flash bombs and I did tell you to cover your eyes."

The lasat blinked a few more times before growling at the Mandalorian who seemed far too pleased with herself for his liking.

Sabine cackled at his expression before looking up at Ezra's bunk and frowning. "I don't understand that should have woken him up."

Zeb's expression softened. "I told you there was something wrong."

Sabine closed her eyes humming in thought. "Maybe he caught something on the last mission." She grabbed her holopad looking up the schematics of the planet from their last mission. Let's see if there is anything that could cause this on Kalachi."

She scanned through the data digging deeper and deeper when initial analysis didn't reveal anything. Finally she stopped. "Ah, I may have found something. The information is mostly classified, but according to this a number of years ago a small farming village experienced a strange bout of people falling into sleeplike comas for days."

Zeb raised an eyebrow "You think that may be what Ezra has."

"Not sure," Sabine replied. There isn't enough information here to know where on the planet people were affected and there doesn't seem to be a known cause. There are theories ranging from carbon monoxide poisoning to radon gas. But the scanner would've or at least should've picked up any levels of foreign gas."

"Should we contact Hera or Kanan?"

Sabine shook her head. "Not unless we have to. We don't want to compromise their mission."

"Fair enough. What about taking him to the med center on base." Zeb suggested.

Sabine gave a single nod. "That's probably best, if he doesn't wake up in the morning, well at a more reasonable hour in the morning, we'll take him." Sabine gave a heavy sigh. "Might as well call today started, I don't know about you but I'm wide awake."

Zeb grunted. "Yeah, maybe we just both transferred our ability to sleep to the kid," he suggested jokingly.

Sabine smiled lightly. "Perhaps, I think I'm going to make myself some caf, you want any?"

"Nah, I want the ability to fall back to sleep at any time I want." The lasat replied.

Sabine left the room and a few moments later Ezra began to stir.

"SABINE, HE'S AWAKE, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG!" a loud voice yelled causing the young woman to nearly spill caf on her leading to a string of rather colorful Mandalorian cuss words.

However, the news began to sink in. Ezra was awake, she tore down the hall towards her crewmates room, and there Ezra was sitting up stiff as a board with his back straight.

"Hey Ezra, how are you doing?" Sabine asked lightly. There was no response. "You must be pretty pissed at Zeb for waking you up so early huh?" Still nothing.

Sabine turned to Zeb raising a questioning eyebrow. The lasat shrugged. "He just shot up out of nowhere without warning. It's like he's waiting for something to happen."

"He might be dreaming or rather sleepwalking." Sabine suggested. "Unfortunately my scanner can't pick up on neurological functions so it's hard to tell."

At this point the young Jedi leapt from the bunk and walked over to a long low table where he displayed his various trooper helmets. Shrugging their shoulders noncommittally the two observers decided to follow the boy and watched in fascination as he picked up his cadet helmet revealing a small pyramid shaped object.

"What is that thing?" Zeb asked.

"Not sure," Sabine replied. "But be quiet, something is happening."

The object in Ezra's hand began to hover gently above the Jedi's palm, the golden casing began to unscrew at the corners floating away from the now glowing crimson core. There was a slight chill in the air, but it was hardly noticed by any of the room's occupants. Then something truly strange occurred. A voice came out of the object.

 _Young Jedi, if you wish to defeat the Sith you must be able to shift your passion to power. You must focus on the thing that you love and cherish most, so focus young Jedi, focus._

Sabine blushed slightly and Zeb snickered, because Ezra was now taking his other hand and holding it up towards the Mandalorian. "Yep, Ezra's definitely sleepwalking." Sabine breathed out a bit too quickly. "You know those random neuron firings can be very fickle. He doesn't know what he's doing." She finished rather lamely.

"Whatever makes you feel better," Zeb laughed giving a pointed smile at the girl. However before she could give her retort, the voice began to speak again.

 _Now that you have focused young Jedi. Picture your enemies crushing the thing you love most, picture it being taken away from you. Now you are too weak to do anything about it, but the passion you once held turns to rage. Your weakness to strength._

Sabine and Zeb looked at each other worriedly. "Should we try waking him up again?" Zeb asked.

Sabine shook her head. "It might cause him to lash out and since Ezra has the force, who knows what damage he could do. Besides, I'm interested to see where this goes." Zeb grunted in reply clearly not liking Sabine's answer. The voice continued.

 _Can you feel the passionate anger roiling inside of you? Now use it, tap into the force and crush your enemy as they have crushed your beloved._

There was a change in Ezra's countenance. His neutral mouth now curled into an ugly frown. His formerly blank stare now held a far off spark of fury. His body which was facing the table now shifted and was fully facing Sabine. Said girl glanced at Zeb raising a questioning eyebrow, the lasat shrugged his shoulders shaking his head indicating he too had no idea what was going to occur. That was when Ezra started raising his arm and Sabine began to float.

Unsure of what was happening, Zeb and Sabine could only stare at each other in shock. That was voice spoke again.

 _Crush her_

Ezra's fingers curled inward ever so slowly, but it was enough. A look of terror came across Sabine as she began to claw at invisible hands around her neck. "Zeb," she managed to choke out. "Help."

Zeb tried to pull Sabine away, but every time he tried to shift the girl away from Ezra's grasp the boy seemed to follow and keep the hold on her. The situation grew worse as Sabine's struggles became less and less. At this point Zeb damned the consequences.

"EZRA! WAKE UP!" He yelled tackling the teen to the floor. Ezra however, seemed unfazed by the attack, as Sabine was still in the air despite Ezra being on the ground. To make matters worse he was getting back up again.

 _Don't let anyone stand in your way_

Zeb felt himself float and be hurdled toward the bunk. Luckily the lasat was agile enough to reach his arm over and grab the bunk's railing before his head could smash against it. Luckily the teen seemed to have lost interest in the lasat, unfortunately though that meant he was now fully focused on choking the life out of Sabine.

Zeb quickly got up and watched in horror as the Mandalorian's kicks became less and less, her hands were now slowly moving away from her throat, and her eyes were flickering dangerously close to unconsciousness. The lasat gripped his bo-rifle which throughout everything he had never let go of. "Sorry kid," he mumbled to himself as he activated the electrical charges of the weapon.

With strong conviction, he raised the weapon and charged the lad, Ezra did not seem to notice or care about this as he made no move to stop the assault. A purple staff of energy befell the young Jedi on the nape of his neck, as lavender electricity coursed through him he twitched and convulsed. The red pyramid seemed to hiss in protest as it closed up falling onto the floor. Ezra and Sabine fell next.

Seeing that she was no longer floating, Zeb rushed to catch the girl allowing Ezra to hit the ground. After a few heart-racing seconds the Mandalorian's eyes fluttered open. Sighing in relief, the lasat set the young girl to rest and pull herself together on his bunk. Sabine elected to sit instead of lie down, sitting with her shoulders slumped there was a long bout of silence before she spoke.

"What was that? Why would he…? I mean I think I know but…"

Zeb watched in empathy as the young girl's shoulders shuddered slightly. He could tell by her posture that she was unsure, frightened. Sabine had always been so confident in herself that he had always seen her as older than she really was. Unfortunately, due to her prodigy-like intelligence and skills, Zeb wasn't sure how she would respond to being completely over-powered like she just was.

In his eyes at least she was taking it better than most. When Lasan fell he had seen warriors who could do no wrong completely fall apart when overwhelmed by the Empire's forces. It was heart-wrenching seeing such brave warriors either completely fall apart or become so enclosed in themselves they never opened up to anyone again. Still, he knew that this did impact her, he could tell by her body language. Perhaps it wasn't being overpowered that was the cause of her distress.

"Well, you did say that he was sleepwalking. Doesn't that imply he didn't know what he was doing?" Zeb offered, though he knew from the look she gave that they were hollow words of comfort.

Sabine said nothing, she just sat still for the longest time. Finally she rose up walking as a zombie. Zeb stiffened as he saw her grab the red pyramid. She turned the object over in her hands several times looking at it like a child. She had seemed absolutely fascinated by the device.

"The thing is though that, even if he was sleepwalking there is something inside of Ezra that wants to hurt someone. Perhaps he wasn't seeing me but someone else when he was picturing what he cherishes most, maybe he saw Kanan or his parents. Remember Zeb, Kanan lost his sight and Ezra's parents lost their lives to the Empire."

"So you think he was seeing what took those things away from him?" Zeb asked. "When he uh, well, you know."

Sabine unconsciously rubbed her collarbone at the remark. "Yes, I believe he was."

There was an uncomfortable stillness in the air. For the longest time they stood still processing Sabine's theory. If what she said was true, then Ezra was becoming a danger to the crew. His mind was going to dark places that neither of them wanted to admit they were afraid of.

"Perhaps it isn't so bad," Zeb finally spoke lighter than he actually felt. "After all, don't we all want to hurt the Empire?"

"But Zeb," Sabine sighed. "This is different, you know it is. This thing, whatever it is, is teaching Ezra how to use anger and hatred for power and strength. I'm not force-sensitive or anything, but from what I have gleaned watching Ezra and Kanan train together that can't be good."

"And when was the last time you saw Ezra and Kanan do any Jedi training?"

"That's easy, last time was… before they went to Malachor…" Sabine looked in fascinated horror at the object in her hand, a look of realization came across her. "Zeb, Kanan isn't teaching Ezra anymore, this thing is a holocron, this is what he's been learning from."

"In his sleep?" Zeb asked incredulously.

Sabine nodded. "At least partially anyway, or perhaps even fully. After all you're his roommate and you never noticed him using this thing have you?" Zeb shook his head. A look of hope came into Sabine's eyes. "Then maybe he doesn't realize what he is doing. Maybe this holocron is affecting his brain waves to reflect darker emotions."

Zeb however was not convinced. "Kanan's holocron never affected Ezra's personality. It's just an object that holds information Sabine."

"No!" Sabine shouted with conviction in her voice. "Ezra, would not want to learn from this thing. Ezra, would have shut it up the second he realized what it was asking of him. He would not have willingly learned from this thing and he would not have… he would not have… hurt me." She finished leaning against the wall falling to the floor.

Zeb took the place next to her. He didn't touch her, he didn't offer words of comfort, he was just there, and that was all he needed to be. He watched as her grip grew white-knuckled on the holocron almost as if she was trying to crush it into dust. Finally her fingers relaxed, the holocron still in her grasp. She stood up and placed it on the low table next to Ezra's collection of Storm Trooper helmets.

Sabine's voice was filled with cold fury. "Let's move Ezra to the couch in the common room. I have some questions for him."

Zeb shuddered slightly as he picked up the young Jedi's prone form. He had thought Sabine was scary before, now she was downright terrifying.

Ezra knew something was wrong the second his eyes fluttered open. For one thing he was certain that his brain was trying to split his skull apart. For another he was not in his room but in the common room of the Ghost.

"Ugh, why am I here?" He asked no one in particular while sitting up slowly as to not aggravate his head. He swiveled his face as he saw a very stoic looking lasat and a helmet-wearing Mandalorian sitting at the table. "Uh, why do I feel like I'm in trouble?"

"Because you are," Zeb answered, his usual joking manner gone from his voice.

Ezra blinked in surprise, then Sabine spoke. "Ezra, we are going to ask you some questions. I expect you to be honest with me. Do you understand?" Sabine asked in a way that left no room for argument. Ezra shivered at the sound of her voice, but nodded his head in understanding.

"Do you remember anything about what happened last night? Have any strange dreams?"

"That sounds like a very personal question." Ezra replied crossing his arms. "But if you must know, I don't remember any dreams last night." He watched carefully as Zeb and Sabine shared a worried look. Something was up.

"Did you know that neither of us could wake you last night and that your heartrate was very slow? Care to explain."

At this revelation Ezra blinked in surprise. "I didn't know that." He then rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I did some meditation before bed; that can cause my heartrate to fall due to being in such a relaxed state. Maybe I fell asleep while meditating, wouldn't be the first time."

"Do you remember breathing in anything or being injected with anything on the last mission to Kalachi?"

'No?" Ezra replied, looking at them both in confusion. "Look what is this all about." He demanded in frustration.

"You really don't remember what happened last night do ya kid?" It was Zeb speaking, his voice was soft.

Ezra shook his head. "Look whatever happened last night, I'm sorry I wasn't awake for it. I shouldn't have fallen asleep while meditating. It was irresponsible. But in my defense I've never had trouble waking from a meditative state before."

"Have you ever meditated in the dark side before?" Sabine asked her voice edging on furious.

Ezra froze "What?"

Sabine procured the holocron from the table behind her. "That's what this thing has been teaching you isn't it? It's a Sith Holocron, isn't it?"

"You went through my stuff." Ezra accused of his two crewmates.

"No we didn't," Zeb replied breezily crossing his arms. "We saw you use it last night, we saw some very interesting things last night."

Ezra glared at the lasat, clearly he was being mocked. "That doesn't make sense you both clearly implied that I was not able to be roused last night. So pray tell, how was I using a holocron in my sleep?"

"I don't know, I'm not an expert on the force. Why don't you ask Kanan?" Zeb shot back accusingly.

Ezra felt the color drain from his face. Kanan. "You didn't tell Kanan about the holocron did you?"

Sabine removed her helmet. "Are you really so afraid of your master that you won't talk to him about this?" She held the device up for him to see.

"I'm not afraid of Kanan." Ezra snarled.

"Then why are you learning from this horrible thing instead of him?" Sabine demanded, her voice rising in volume.

"It's not horrible," Ezra defended. "Every success I've had with the missions over the past four months has been because of that holocron. I have waited patiently with Kanan, but it was clear that he wasn't going to teach me anything more about the force. I had to learn more from somewhere."

"Wait, you mean all that crazy force stuff you've been doing over the past four months has been because of the holocron?" Zeb asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yep," Ezra replied with a light smirk. "That holocron has taught me several things that have saved my butt and yours."

Zeb looked contemplative, but Sabine was beyond furious. "Ezra this is not a game. You don't know how that thing is affecting you. What it's making you do."

"I never said it was a game Sabine." Ezra shot back. "I take everything to do with this rebellion seriously. Look, originally I was hesitant to use the Sith Holocron. I'll admit I had the same reservations you are having now, but then I realized that we were sent to Malachor to gain knowledge in defeating the Sith. What better way to do that than using a Sith Holocron."

Sabine was beyond frustrated. Tactically what Ezra was saying made sense. After all how many times were they able to use Sabine's knowledge that she learned at the Academy to infiltrate and destroy Imperial properties or obtain sensitive data? True it was horrible to be there, but now she used her knowledge every day to assist the rebellion, but the cost she payed… The lives, Manadalorian lives that were lost because of what she ignorantly did while at the Academy…

Sabine took a deep breath. He was in a similar position she was in so many years ago. He didn't know how much using the Sith Holocron was going to hurt them. He didn't know what he did. She had to tell him plainly, she couldn't beat around the bush, and yet…

"Look Ezra," Sabine said voice much more mellow than before. "I understand why you are using the holocron, but could you please for my peace of mind at least talk to Kanan. You don't even have to tell him about the holocron. I just don't want it to be the only thing teaching you."

If anyone could keep Ezra away from the darkness it would be Kanan.

Ezra bit his lower lip and shuffled a bit. "I can't."

"Why not Ezra?" Sabine asked with mild exasperation. He mumble something so low that it was barely heard. "What?"

I don't deserve Kanan's forgiveness!" Ezra shouted. The room was silent for a spell.

"Kid…"

"I don't deserve his forgiveness." Ezra said a little softer. "It's because of me that he is blind. It's because of me that Ahsoka is dead. I have to show that I am worthy of his forgiveness, by defeating the Sith in any way I can."

Sabine and Zeb glanced at each other. Had Ezra really been harboring so much guilt over something from, what little they did know was not even truly his fault? What sort of isolation would he put himself in if he knew that he had nearly killed Sabine? Would he leave the crew? Would he do something worse?

It was a good thing Sabine calmed down before tearing Ezra apart for nearly killing her. "I'll tell you what Ezra." Sabine started. "From this point forward I want at least one of us to be present at all times the holocron."

Ezra snorted. "So now you don't trust me."

Sabine rolled her eyes. "Don't be so defensive Ezra. Look, what you did last night really scared us, really scared me. We just want to make sure that you are still well, you."

Ezra's posture changed to one of humility. "And what exactly did I do?"

"For your own peace of mind, I won't tell you." Sabine answered. "Just know that it pissed me off and scared the living crap out of me but I forgive you, and I'm sure Kanan has forgiven you as well."

Ezra stiffened slightly but nodded his head. "I think I understand," He mumbled.

Sabine walked over to him and handed him the holocron. "We really do trust you Ezra. Don't give us another reason not to."

Ezra grabbed the holocron out of Sabine's hand and without a single word walked out the door.

Zeb glanced at Sabine. "You think he's still going to use that holocron by himself?"

Sabine nodded. "Definitely."

"You gonna tell Kanan or Hera about it?"

Sabine shook her head. "Despite what happened, it isn't our place to tell them. Besides Kanan's blind, not stupid, he's going to figure things out eventually."

"I don't know Sabine, sometimes I think Kanan's brain became blinded the same way his eyes did?"

Sabine held her fingers to her mouth in mock horror. "Garazeb Orrelious, are you making jokes after such a serious situation?"

Zeb smiled. "Someone has to lighten the mood. Speaking of which, you got any more of those flash bombs?"

Sabine grinned knowing where he was going. "I do."

"Why don't we help Ezra see the light?"

"Someone on this ship has to. I might as well be us." Sabine with a smirk lightly tossing a flash bomb up and down in her hand.

They ran down the halls looking for Ezra knowing everything would be okay, because no matter how lost or how far into the dark Ezra was going, they would always be there to find him and light his way home.

 **A/N: I had this idea in my head for a while and finally decided to get it on paper. I think the tone shifts a bit too much, but eh, what are you going to do?**

 **The bit about the sleeping sickness is based on a real event that occurred in Kazakhstan in a village called Kalachi (what I named the planet afterwards) the place is now completely abandoned, and the true cause of nearly ¼ of the population falling asleep was never solved (Don't worry they did eventually wake up).**

 **I hope you enjoyed reading. I certainly enjoyed writing it.**


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